I know, I know… I said this blog was going to be letters from the inside, what I’m thinking or feeling. So what’s up with title? Well, the title is what I’m thinking about – a letter from the outside that I’m waiting none-too-patiently for.
Back in September a colleague approached me with a postcard – the first letter from the outside, really. It was for a teacher creativity grant. Honestly, I had never heard of such a thing. We started talking, and at first my dreams were small. I could take the genealogy trek I’d been dreaming of around Virginia. We could take our children to visit Washington D.C. And then we hit on my real dream, the destination that could truly spark my creativity – I could use the grant to travel to Italy!
Suddenly, this hypothetical idea for a grant I had never even heard of became my obsession. I wanted it so badly I couldn’t even write the application letter. I kept trying, but failing miserably to convey the passion I felt for this potential opportunity. Finally, with less than a week until the deadline and after many tears, I put down in print what I so desperately wanted, if only I could persuade the foundation to fund my idea.
More than two months later I continue to wait. The mail comes and I shuffle through the piles of bills, hoping and praying for word that I have been accepted. I know that there are no guarantees, but I hope. And really, that hope is almost enough. It sparks and inspires. It brightens and lightens. I dream. And that dream is really the prize after all.